Thanks for checking out Stability Within!

             Everyone has a story. Here's mine...

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It feels great to know it's ok to just be me and to experience peace, joy, and a life with meaning on a daily basis.  Yet, this hasn't always been the case! 

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Even though my parents were amazing and life was good as I was growing up, I saw myself as the invisible, middle daughter of three. I knew I was loved and cared for, yet it felt like I was given the responsibility for blazing my own trail.

I wasn't the creative, adventurous daughter like my older sister nor the cute, adorable one like my baby sister.  I was just the quiet, middle daughter who didn't want to disappoint or rock the boat, yet very observant and aware of family dynamics. 

 I didn't talk about what bothered me, what upset me. Neither did I ask for guidance when needed. I lacked the mindset which said,

"You're important. You're worth listening to. Go talk with Mother or Daddy."

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By Jr High (ha, sounds so old-school), my self-imposed limiting beliefs had me believe I needed to earn my parents' attention and recognition, create an identity of value for myself, and become an overachiever. 

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During the next forty years, those quiet limiting beliefs were just under the surface triggered by certain circumstances and emotions.  I thought they were normal. It's all I had known. I can tell  you now, limiting beliefs may be common and familiar but they don't have to be your normal!

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It was actually my love for teaching children and at the age of 35, the joy of parenthood, that gave my life meaning and ongoing fulfillment. Yet, situations and circumstances would continue to ignite a nagging sense of inadequacy and the yearning to find joy in knowing that I was enough just being who I am.​

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By the age of 49. I was loving my life. I was feeling secure in my identity and value... that of being married for 24 years,  mother to two wonderful daughters and thankful to live close to my loving parents.  Additionally, I was principal at our community elementary school. We were living in a wonderful neighborhood with friends nearby. I was actively involved in a small group at church where I also sang in the choir. I was joyfully happy. My life had value and my identity was well established. Life was great! 

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But wait!! Are our value and identity created by what we do and where we live????

I was about to find out... NO! 

 

One year later, the summer I turned 50, the unexpected happened! 

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One by one, the things which identified me were stripped away from my life.

My 25 year marriage ended...didn't see that coming. 

 Our home in the wonderful neighborhood...sold.

My Dad ...passed away. I retired to help my Mom.

My carpool-Mom role ended... My older daughter turned 16.

 I retired and worked as part-time Instructional Coach.

So much change! So much grief! 

 

I was left pondering the question: 

Who was I? 

WHERE'S MY STABILITY & WHAT DEFINES MY IDENTITY? 

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I made the decision to go to work on myself. We always have a choice.  Right?

And I am so thankful I did!

I discovered my real identity and what makes my life truly valuable.

I now know the key to living freely, fully, confidently, and empowered. 

Out of my journey came my healing.

It is my heart's desire to help others live freely, fully, confidently, and empowered.

 

  This can be your season to shine, to grow your legacy, to mentor and encourage, to have fun and be adventurous, to be adorable and laugh with friends, and to enjoy that bucket list you dream about. 

  Every day counts. Today is yours... 

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Your BEST is yet to come, if you choose it!

It was true for me.

And it can be true for you, too.

 

Blessings, 

Mary Nichols 

   

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